bloom and wither
by JAE NI
Summary: In such a place as the palace, friends weren't necessary. But maybe having another fellow sister-in-arms wasn't so bad.


**A\N: I'll probably be kicked out of the fandom for this, but whatever.**

 **I got the idea thanks to IU and Kang Hanna's instagram posts. So you can blame them.** **Also, blame my sleep deprived brain who made the outline.** **And blame college for not allowing me to properly write it down.**

 **It's a mess, sorry.**

 **That said, I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

* * *

Yeon Hwa was already used to it.

Of course, she never liked when the 3rd Prince made an advance on her, but she couldn't really complain. After all, complaining never stopped a prince from doing whatever he wanted.

Perhaps she could talk to her brother to do something about it. And he would, overprotective as always. But messing with the heir of the Chungju clan was too dangerous for them, even though they now had an alliance with the Hae after Wook got married. If she dared to fight back or even refuse Yo now, there would be no way to tell what Queen Yoo would do.

So, when he leaned closer than she would be comfortable with once again, she didn't budge. She didn't move and didn't fight. She didn't even resist, and just waited for him to be bored and all of this to be over.

But then a cheerful voice intruded on, and the 3rd Prince pulled away quickly.

"Gongjunim," the girl came in jumping like a rabbit, stopping for a moment to bow before the man in front of her, and then enlaced an arm around hers, "I was looking for you. There has been an emergency in the kitchen and none of the servants know what to do."

Hae Soo kept babbling as she dragged her away from the 3rd Prince. Yeon Hwa knew there was no emergency and no servants in dire need of her direction – she had already dismissed all of them so they could rest before preparing dinner – but she didn't complain nor resisted the other girl.

She could only feel relief for being taken away from her brother's presence.

As soon as they turned around the building, though, Hae Soo let go of her arm, stopped her talking abruptly and started to walk away.

"Why did you do that?" Yeon Hwa couldn't help but ask, managing to hide her surprised look. It made her sister-in-law's cousin freeze on her tracks, but she still turned around to face the Princess with the same defiant and impudent look of always.

"I hate people mistreating others just because of how they were born," she explained in a different tone from the one she just used to rescue her, "Be it a noble mistreating a commoner, or a man mistreating a woman. Just because he was born a male, he shouldn't have any power over you," Then, she crossed her arms, trying to display indifference, despite her next words, "You and I have our differences, but I couldn't just leave you alone in that situation."

Yeon Hwa wanted to reprimand her attitude, but she couldn't, not after what the other girl had risked just to free her from the 3rd Prince's clutches. And she knew she had to thank her for it, but her pride wouldn't let her either.

So she just nodded with her head, and the girl didn't even bother to bow before walking away once again.

"Don't think I owe you anything because of that," She declared, in her most authoritative tone, but Hae Soo only turned around and smiled smugly, as she continued to walk.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Her sister-in-law's death changed everything.

First, her brother, who seemed to find better comfort in the darkness of his office late at night, rather than with his family. Then, her mother, who looked even more worried about the safety of her children now that the alliance with the Hae had ended. And on top of it all, the Hae Soo girl, who was about to get married.

Yeon Hwa smiled politely to her relatives, she offered them tea and snacks, and kept a peaceful and hospitable small talk going between them. She laughed when they told her jokes and made a piteous face when they mentioned the deceased Hae Myung Hee.

But when they turned around, following a servant that would take them to their resting rooms until their niece got ready to be taken to her new husband, Yeon Hwa marched to the girl's bedroom, walking as natural as possible, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong.

Before she could, though, she met her brothers, trying to conceal a person wearing a bright pink cloak.

And it wasn't like she wanted to help, she just couldn't watch such stupidity happening in her home.

"I owe you at least this," Yeon Hwa said as she gave the deep blue cloak to Hae Soo, one that wouldn't draw too much attention to herself as she slipped away from the residence.

"I thought you said you didn't owe me anything," she replied, taking the cloth in her hands then holding it against her chest. Her eyes were confused and she furrowed her brow, trying to decide if she felt grateful or not.

"Even I have a sense of pride and duty," the Princess retorted before Eun could ask what she meant and dismissed her, before walking back to the hall her relatives were expecting her, "Now get out of here."

Yen Hwa didn't think much of what she did. There was no place for worry or even concern about anyone's safety. The girl was somewhat smart, and even if she hadn't provided any aid, she would have managed to escape anyway. Now, she only had to pretend she didn't know anything, and that tie uniting them after Hae Soo rescued her from the 3rd Prince would disappear.

Of course, she certainly had a plan to survive out there. She had a route of escape, a plan to live under suspicion in some distant village where she would live her silly dreams.

Or not.

Yeon Hwa bit her lips as she watched the doors of the now sleeping girl, the same one who was energetically running around a few hours ago.

She would have preferred that the girl had disappeared, that she had gone to a far and distant land, so she didn't have to see her face again.

But it turned out that Hae Soo genius plan was to slit her wrist open to avoid being married to the King. And now, to appease her brother, who was desperate and anxious to walk into the Damiwon to see how the girl was, she had to stay there and wait for the Sanggung to tell her she had awakened and deliver Wook's message to her.

A few minutes later, however, when she strode into the small and empty room, the girl looked at her with her bulged eyes in surprise, her mouth open as if she was trying to think about what to say, and Yeon Hwa scoffed.

"Were you expecting someone else?" She asked sarcastically.

The girl's eyes dropped down after she realized she was staring too much to be considered polite, and she lets her head fall in a graceless bow.

"What are you doing here, Gongjunim?"

"My brother has angered the king enough," Yeon Hwa explained at once, unwilling to make her feel better or to not worsen her situation, "So he relied on me to tell you he'll come visit you from time to time, now that you're a court lady in the Damiwon. He also said something like, don't worry, and that everything will be fine."

The last part came through clenched teeth. She really didn't want to be a part of this mess anymore, and she thought she could close her eyes to whatever happened to the girl after she helped her escape from her house. But still, since she gave aid in the beginning, she will do it now, and then she won't ever cross paths with Hae Soo.

Before she left, though, the girl raised her head and said in a clear and determined voice.

"Thank you. For coming here."

She looked happy. She was a servant now, a scarred woman who would have to bow her head to everyone, deprived of her colorful clothes and pretty jewelry, abandoned by her family and all alone in a place she didn't know, and yet she looked happy.

The outrage was too much for Yeon Hwa to handle it, then.

"You're a fool," The words slipped out in a tone of incredulousness, instead of anger and distaste as she intended, "You could have become a queen, possibly the mother of a prince, and you just threw it away."

The girl didn't back down, nor did she look away. She didn't even look ashamed or regretful at all, and just smiled wistfully, the glint in her eyes never once fading as she stared Yeon Hwa's face.

"Wouldn't you want to marry for love as well, Gongjunim?"

The question took Yeon Hwa by surprise.

And in that brief second she was taken aback, her mind was flooded with a dream she had while she was still a little girl who believed in her mother's bed time stories. The wish to believe in true love and that one day she would fall in love with a good and handsome man. The dream that they would live together with no worries about the world, except the education and upbringing of their children.

Indeed, she wanted to marry for love, but that was only a dream she forsake after her family had been banished from Songak.

"I'm a princess," she said curtly before leaving, "I don't have the time to entertain such measly thoughts."

While it was true that the young woman had left a strong impression on Yeon Hwa before she left her brother's residence, the Princess didn't spend that much time thinking about her. They would cross paths occasionally whenever she visited the palace, and from time to time she would also serve her tea when she went to see her mother in the Damiwon, but that was basically all there was.

And no, Yeon Hwa never felt impressed by the glint of determination and faith in the girl's eyes whenever she came in the room, even though her head was always bowed in submission, according to her new position.

Sometimes she even wondered if that was the posture of a submissive servant at all.

To put it in simple terms, Yeon Hwa didn't distaste seeing the girl anymore, like she did in the past, and after finding a few soft points about Hae Soo, she could even appreciate her character a little bit more.

That was why, after hearing the greatest nonsense she ever heard from her brother, she didn't find too revolting nor too degrading to march to the girl during her studying time in the Damiwon and demand a more appropriate behavior from her.

"My brother says he'll marry you," she said in an affronted tone, her voice a little sharper due to her indignation that had yet to subdue, "Tell me you're not according to his foolishness."

Hae Soo didn't look puzzled or shocked at all. Just a little bit surprised from being interrupted in such a loud manner. But after Yeon Hwa's words dawned on her, she actually dared to smile - that same challenging and lively smile - and retort with a humorous question.

"Is the thought of me becoming your sister-in-law that revolting to you?"

Soo's arched eyebrows and raised chin would have irked her before, but now they didn't affront Yeon Hwa at all. Her attitude much reminded her of how she always wished she could behave, if she wasn't tied down to her clans expectations and their rivals plotting, so she started to look past that.

What enraged her even more was the insinuated reply that yes, she was according to her brother idea of them getting married - a prince and a court lady - and that she found the prospects of being related to the Princess rather pleasant and amusing.

"Listen to yourself…" Yeon Hwa scoffed, and then she walked closer to the table full of discarded papers and spilled ink, "He's speaking of returning to our homeland, have you also heard of that?" Hae Soo's unchanging expression was the only answer she needed before she sighed and switched strategies to censure her, "You want to have a happy marital life? Then fine. You can do that right here. Gather enough power to protect yourself, find your happiness and remain neutral. You're not a fool, so don't act like one."

"Are you asking me to ignore my heart?"

Apparently, Yeon Hwa's request was more shocking than her subtle compliment, so she rephrased herself, speaking more calmly and articulated.

"I'm asking you to be wise," she explained, urging the girl to see the logic in her argument, "My brother comes from a prestigious clan. Even if he stays away from Songak, that won't guarantee that the next king won't feel threatened by him."

There was a moment of silence then, and Hae Soo's eyes finally dropped in a melancholic way. Yeon Hwa started to smile in triumph, thinking that this time she managed to convince her to change her brother's mind. But then her shoulders plummeted in defeat and she sighed defeated.

"I'm not like you, Gongjunim," she said in defeat, "I can't live amongst the intrigue surrounding the palace."

"You wouldn't have to," Yeon Hwa interrupted her pitiful speech, refusing to give up, "Leave the dirty work to me. Just don't let my brother ruin his future and drag our whole family down."

If it was for her brother's sake, Yeon Hwa didn't mind dirtying her hands with blood. She didn't mind having to take such a strenuous path and live forever in the shadows, lurking in the shade of the palace.

And if his brother's happiness was with the defiant girl before her, she had no choice but to accept her.

At least it was better than a woman with no ambition and no courage, even though she was quite ungracious and discourteous.

Her brother would have all the honors, Hae Soo would have the freedom, and Yeon Hwa would be the only thing above them all.

"This is a big nonsense."

"Of course it is, because you've never seen something like that, have you?"

"I haven't, because it's not plausible and it's not sustainable."

"Gongjunim, what if someone who has no idea of what is the worth and value of a king suddenly came to a place like this."

"You mean someone like you?"

"Of course not. I mean someone who never ever had to live in a world like this. Wouldn't they find it too unsustainable and implausible?"

"They would certainly act like you do."

"But would they be wrong?"

"Now you want me to admit that people should be treated equally."

"You don't have to say it as if it's something bad. If people were all considered equals before the law, then the 3rd Prince wouldn't have no right to treat you like that, and you could even run for the throne yourself, instead of only supporting your brother or giving yourself in marriage."

"..."

"..."

"Alright, maybe your philosophy has a few good points."

Things got messy really quick.

First, she managed to come up with a plan that would pretty much benefit her, her brother and Hae Soo. She crafted it beautifully, ready to soar above all of the snakes in the palace and finally rest assured for a while. She had a solid path before her, and she wouldn't hesitate from taking it, even if she had to side with the people she hated the most.

Siding with Queen Yoo was not very pleasant nor very wise, but it was necessary, so Yeon Hwa forgot all about her antipathy towards the woman. She plotted it all in her chambers, smiling at her as if they were the best of friends; and before the feast started, they even shared accomplice looks. And another one when the Crown Prince asked for the chrysanthemum tea.

That was when things started to go down.

First, it was Hae Soo bringing the poisoned tea for the Crown Prince. Then, it was So raising from his chair and drinking three cups from it. And before she could come up with a solution, or even a basic comprehension of what had just happened before her, they were both gone.

Yeon Hwa looked briefly to the Queen Yoo, apparently indifferent that her son had just ingested their poison as if there was nothing wrong, and suddenly everything dawned on her, and she was left with the choice to save one life.

She could pretend nothing had just happened, and her fourth brother would die.

She could call everyone's attention to the poisoned tea, and Hae Soo would be executed.

Yeon Hwa didn't hesitate on standing up and walk smiling to her father, determined to save So's life, feeling just a little bit of guilt and pity for the court lady that had left the feast a few moments before.

And when she let herself fall on the floor, she called her brother's name, but her thoughts and regrets went for the girl with daring and naïve dreams.

There was no way out for her now. She had barely escaped with life when she first came into the palace. But an attempt to kill a prince was too big of an accusation to escape. Even if they found too little evidence, she would still be tortured. Even if she didn't tell them anything or everything, she would still be executed.

She was certainly going to die.

Or not.

This time she didn't wait outside. Oh Sanggung was not in this world anymore, so she wouldn't tend to the asleep girl and tell her to come inside after she woke up. Actually, there was no one in or near the room at all, not after her fourth brother was summoned by the King and reluctantly left Hae Soo's side.

He was going to be punished, but his worry was only for that girl. And apparently, he was the only one ready to go through such extents for her.

And when the girl's eyes opened, there was no surprise, no shock, no alteration or the desperate tears from when she passed out in the rain. There was also no bravery, no defiance, no confidence and challenge at all.

She was completely empty, and her light had been blown out.

"Gongjunim?" She bowed slowly and deeply, as much as her weak and wounded body allowed her too, which was not enough to mask her surprise for seeing her there.

"Expecting someone else?"

"I'm sure he's angered the king enough."

Her voice came out broken and coarse, a weak whisper compared to when they had last talked. She didn't look disappointed for not seeing her brother there, but there were tears in her eyes when she held a modest hairpin in her hands.

Yeon Hwa didn't have to ask to know it belonged to Oh Sanggung.

"I could never understand that woman," she said in a musing tone, that lacked no sympathy, "Such surly manners, and yet people loved her…. Mother is devastated until now."

"She had her own charm."

She was a lot like you, Yeon Hwa thought, but couldn't possibly say it. Not because it was too great of a compliment, but because it would probably make Hae Soo feel even worse than she already did.

So she just nodded slowly, still standing in the same place she was when the girl woke up.

"I suppose she did," she mused out loud, thinking about the King's concubine, "She carried the child of the king once. But then she was poisoned and lost her baby." Soo's eyes perked up, as she probably never heard the story before, but Yeon Hwa just couldn't look back to her, "Pyeha was furious. He had to punish someone, but didn't have enough evidence of the guilt. So my mother was framed and my family was banished from Songak." Until now, that was the biggest grudge Yeon Hwa had, and the reason that made her forsake everything to grant that either her or her brother would get the throne. It was the reason she forgot all of the good things she ever had in her life, "Every time she passed by me with her patronizing smile, my skin would crawl, and I would vow to take revenge somehow - To think I'd end up like her…"

To think she would end up being as low and despicable as the Queen Yoo was worse than siding with the woman itself.

Yeon Hwa had told herself many times that just because she was plotting with her, it didn't mean she had any relations or similarities to the woman, but she ended up repeating history by causing the death of a person, placing the guilt on someone else, and then watch as she left the palace in misery and helplessness.

But, as if she had sensed where her train of thought had taken her to, Soo smiled weakly and tried to speak with a more optimistic attitude.

"You saved the 4th Prince. Thank you."

Her words didn't help to lift Yeon Hwa's spirits up, "I couldn't save you."

"I'll be fine."

She wasn't. They both knew that. She would be left alone by everyone in the end, forced to work somewhere far from the palace like an animal - with no rights, no rest, no accommodations.

And yet, she wouldn't resist, she wouldn't fight. Hae Soo was now broken beyond repair, too empty to be filled again, and she only wanted to fade until there was nothing left of her.

Yeon Hwa couldn't say anything - she didn't have to right - so she just walked closer to the small table next to the bed and putted a small wooden box on it.

"Medicine for your pain. Ointment for your knees," she said before Hae Soo could ask what they were or even dared to refuse her charity, "They will only last for a month. Two at most, if you're meticulous. But after that, there's nothing I can do."

"This should be more than enough." Soo's eyes softened a bit, and there was a small spark behind them.

Yeon Hwa, however, left before she could say anything else, desperately trying to wash her hands off.

It turned out that it took more than that to finish Hae Soo off.

It also turned out that the little girl who Yeon Hwa didn't use to give much thought could rise from the ashes of her shame, climbing from the lowest position to the highest in the palace. As, after helping the Crown Prince to secure his throne, Hae Soo had become the new Sanggung of the Damiwon.

The 3rd Prince's coup also wasn't enough to destroy her, as she still managed to look completely impeccable and unbalanced, even with the threat of the King to hang her for regicide.

As a Princess, Yeon Hwa wished she could act like that around the palace - not just flaunt her status and show off her pretty clothes and shiny jewelry, but emanate the same pride that small woman did.

Because even with her title of Taejo's Daughter, Yeon Hwa could barely struggle to get free from the grasp of the same man that filled her with repulse in the past.

After she received the news she stormed to the Damiwon, not ready to face her brother just yet, and she met Hae Soo doing her routinary rounds around the place. As soon as she saw her, the Sanggung ordered a court lady to take her to wait in a private room.

A couple of minutes later, Soo had served her a cup of steaming tea. But instead of leaving, she stood there - unmoving and unshakeable.

"Gongjunim..." She started to speak, properly and gracefully, no longer overbearing nor inappropriate, her face completely void of emotion.

"Don't talk," Yeon Hwa cut her and took the cup carefully, even though she had no intention of drinking, "I just wish to ease this headache."

"Do you wish me to go away?"

"First, let's see if your nonsense babbling can distract enough for me to not surrender to despair."

"I don't think my impertinent babbling will help this time," Hae Soo's tone of voice said that she knew all about her future wedding to Khitan. How that woman managed to grasp the news so fast, she would never understand.

"Orabeonim's initial backup plan was for me to marry him," Yeon Hwa sighed, taking a deep gulp on the tea and trying to ignore the burning sensation in her tongue and her throat, "Now we are both being ruined."

"Isn't there any other way for you not to be given in marriage like this?" Hae Soo tried to be optimistic, but they both knew she couldn't escape from the King's claws.

"Yes, there is," Yeon Hwa replied sarcastically, abandoning the cup of tea and facing the woman next to her, "So-orabeonim just has to accept my wedding proposal and free me," If she wasn't used to Soo's mask of indifference, she would have missed the tiny signs of surprise on her face, "Surprised? He was as well. I'm not like you, Hae Soo. Even if the man I loved married me, I'd still feel powerless. I cannot be satisfied with such a thing." Yeon Hwa tried to ignore the twinge in her chest when she remembered the man's polite refusal, and then shrugged off, her mind heavy with far more serious worries, "At least when I go, I won't have to deal with your foolishness any longer."

"Don't you think about running away?"

Hae Soo's question took her by surprise, as even just thinking about such a thing was treason.

"Not everyone can have the same luck as Eun and his wife. Stop giving me ideas, or I'll also make you help me to escape," Yeon Hwa reprimanded the woman, who didn't look fazed or worried by the least. Her reckless behavior had been threatening to return ever since she snatched the 10th Prince from under the King's eyes, "Your only duty is to pour tea and prepare baths, why do you want to rescue and save lives as well?"

"As long as everyone's happy by the end, I don't mind taking more roles," Soo smiled a little bit, smugly, and Yeon Hwa grinned, raising her eyebrows.

"Then why don't you leave So-orabeonim and let me marry him?"

"I've beaten up a prince before," she retorts without losing her balance, "What makes you think I can't do the same to you?"

Yeon Hwa didn't do something stupid, like saying that Hae Soo wasn't the same reckless girl who punched Eun in her house. She just scoffed at the feeble glint that didn't show up as much as before - hidden behind the mask of the Sanggung.

It took more than losing everything to destroy Hae Soo, and, as a Princess, Yeon Hwa couldn't let herself fall behind.

"Gongjunim! Open the gates!"

"What nonsense…"

"If the 4th Prince becomes king, he can undo your wedding, and you won't be sent to Khitan. You won't be given away as a property."

"He has nothing to gain…"

"He will if you help him. And if he doesn't, I'll talk to him."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Go, quick."

Just like Hae Soo had told her the day her 4th brother marched into the palace and she opened the gates to grant him a peaceful passage, she wasn't given to Khitan in marriage. However, that didn't stop her brother from offering her to someone else.

"Gongjunim," Hae Soo stood up from her chair as soon as Yeon Hwa walked into her small room the King gave to her and she sighed.

"So you've heard," Yeon Hwa had come to tell her in person about her brother's plans and what it implied to both of them, but as always, Hae Soo was one step ahead of her. The Princess sighs then, tired of all the ruckus and drama men raised in the palace, sitting down across her, "Do you hate me? In the end, I'm taking him away from you."

"Will you protect him?"

"I'll have to, once we are wed."

"Will you send me away?"

"I couldn't, even if I tried."

"Then it might be better if you become queen than me."

Soo's shoulders fell down and she let go of the tension she was holding when the woman arrived, sitting back in her chair. Yeon Hwa furrowed her brow at the sudden submissive behavior.

"You accept it so easily? I always thought you wouldn't wish to share your husband."

"I can't marry him," Soo smiled bitterly, shaking her head, "I can't be his queen. Just allow me to be by his side, and I'll convince him to accept your brother's proposal."

And because Yeon Hwa didn't even want to put Hae Soo in such a painful position in the first place - considering all that has happened to both of them, prisoners of men's petty wishes and ridiculous mistakes - she nodded silently, granting a sigh of relief from her.

Her brother had only acted out of spite and she knew it, but he would not achieve anything from it.

Hae Soo would remain by the side of the King, and Wook would still be a lonely prince in the shadow of the palace. Meanwhile, Yeon Hwa would remain a tool, used by her clan to climb the stairs of power.

Unlike Soo, she had never truly grasped her destiny, not even once.

And as she walked with the King into the throne room, she couldn't help but think that, even though she had everything she craved for when she was banished - a queen now, a queen mother in the future - she had absolutely nothing.

When all the guests bowed before her, she realized how all of it was worthless. How empty she had become while she pursued her so-called independence.

She wanted to soar above the King himself, and now she saw she never even left the ground to start with.

 _Wouldn't you want to marry for love as well?_

It was too late for her. It had been a long time ago, even before she decided to chase all the empty things.

And now that she had achieved her empty goal and empty position - to have enough power to not submit to anyone, not to bow her head to anyone - she had no other choice but to play her part until the end.

"I'll bear your heir when the time comes," she told the King as soon as they were left alone, "For now, just go to her."

"Why are you destroying the flowers?"

Hae Soo stopped plucking the petals of the roses she was playing with when she heard the woman's voice. She turned around quickly, her eyes wide in shock and her shoulders tensing, but then sighed and relaxed when she saw who had spoken to her, "Oh, it's you, Hwanghu!"

Old habits seemed to linger on.

"So that's what the king's favor does… You're too bold now, aren't you?"

"I've always been bold," she shrugged and smiled smugly, but the glint in her eyes disappeared as soon as it came, and she had the same worried and helpless expression on her face as she had when Yeon Hwa came in, "I need your help."

Yeon Hwa raised an eyebrow to the woman's sudden request,

"Your lover is the King himself. Go to..."

"I think I'm with child," Soo blurted out before she could finish her sentence and Yeon Hwa froze.

She blinked once. Then she blinked twice. Then she spoke numbly and as coldly as possible.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm sorry," her eyes bulged and she raised her hands in her odd way to apologize, "I didn't think it would bother you."

"No, why are you telling _me_ this and not him? I'm sure that…"

"I'm dying," Soo interrupted once again, and Yeon Hwa blinked again, this time multiple consecutive times in surprise, her mind trying to grasp and understand what she had just said.

"What?"

"The Royal Doctor just confirmed," she spoke casually, as if she was just telling the Queen it was raining, "I have a serious heart condition, due to all that I've been through."

"And you're dying?!" Hae Soo was a woman of the same age as her, and had been a constant presence in her life for the past years.

And now she was dying.

Her mind tried to make sense of that new information. Her face remained unmoved, but on the inside she fought to calm down this sudden feeling that started to form in her throat and wanted to explode, to spread everywhere in her body. Because while death wasn't something unusual for any of them, the fact that it was Hae Soo and that it was a terminal disease was too great of a shock for her to even feel anything at all.

Meanwhile, Hae Soo continued to talk.

"He said I might have ten years left," her eyes filled with tears, even though she kept on smiling, "I've been praying for more time, but I… I'm not that strong, Hwanghu, I can't hold on for that long."

Yeon Hwa sighed. With Hae Soo's words, she finally understood why she gave up on marrying him so easily - Hae Soo was always sacrificing and giving away things from her, even if it meant being broken over and over again.

And now, - Yeon Hwa tried to comprehend the mess the world was -, she was dying.

She was dying and carrying a child, and yet, her worries now weren't for her. She was just too afraid to hurt him, to hurt their unborn baby.

Hae Soo hadn't told her because she wanted Yeon Hwa to come up with a miraculous cure. She just wanted her to listen, to know, to provide a suggestion of guidance. Just like Yeon Hwa used to do when the other woman was the Sanggung of the Damiwon.

"Don't you love him?"

"I do."

"Then just go tell him," Yeon Hwa was tired of complicated plots and of walking carefully around the people in the palace, "Why to create a rift between you two? Will life be any better for you if you do so?"

"Hwanghu…"

"Yes, he'll probably devastated," the Queen raised a hand to interrupt her argument, "But, just like with what happened between you and my brother, he'll prefer to hear it directly from you.

Hae Soo's eyes were still full of tears, but she didn't let them fall. Instead, she nodded quietly, bowed slightly and left the room silently. Her tired shoulders dropped down in despair.

Yeon Hwa thought about the days she would walk imposingly, her head held high, her strides confident - as a noblewoman, as a court lady, as a Sanggung, as a woman of the King.

And now she was like a withered branch, trying to remain alive even though the cold wind kept striking her down.

It seemed like being the King's lover was a curse after all.

"Hwanghu."

"What happened now?" Yeon Hwa turned around to the woman who called her, and to her surprise, she found a small child as well.

"Seol-ah made you a gift," Hae Soo explained and looked down at the little girl, who held a small package in her arms.

Yeon Hwa raised her eyebrow. She had no hard feelings against Soo's daughter, who should be around 4 years old now, but she was certain that they had no close relationship either.

"Why?"

"Because she wanted to," Soo explained as if that was the most obvious thing in the world, and then turned to her daughter, who was smiling shyly, clearly disconcerted in front of the other woman, "Didn't you, my dear?"

Yeon Hwa was about to say that it wasn't necessary and that she could keep her gift to herself, when the kid stepped forward.

"You like pretty things," Seol explained with a determined glance, and then corrected her addressing, "Hwanghu."

After the insistence, the Queen couldn't possibly say no, so she just extended her hand to receive the small wooden box.

"Now bow down properly," Soo reminded the girl, who was about to dash away running. The child then, evidently against her will, pulled her hand on her belly and greeted the woman.

After she corrected her posture, she looked back to her mother, an eager expression on her face, "Can I go play now?"

"Yes, but don't go too far."

At Soo's permission, the girl hopped away, happy to be allowed to play with flowers and weeds just a few feet away from where they were.

" _You're_ teaching her how to bow?"

"Just because I refuse to bow to rude monarchs it doesn't mean I also haven't been taught what the polite thing to do is," Hae Soo retorted, her gaze never once leaving the little girl while she played alone.

"So, you teach her how to be polite, and how to be discourteous at the same time?"

"I teach her to value everyone the same, and that includes the ones above her," Yeon Hwa wondered how much had been since she last heard Hae Soo repeat that phrase she would shout nonstop when she was young, "The one responsible for her discourteousness is Pyeha."

Yeon Hwa scoffed at her weak attempt to push the guilt of the child's brazen behavior on her father.

"As far as I remember, you were rather discourteous yourself."

"I'm just a little bit defiant."

"I can see that. Bringing my husband's child to see me in public."

"Queens don't care about the public."

Hae Soo sounded and looked regal majestic when she said that. Her posture and her face, although weak and pale due to her progressing illness, carried the dignity of a queen.

"What is it that you want?" Yeon Hwa asked at last, and that was when the woman's gaze turned to the Queen.

"Please, take care of her."

The request was so sudden, but it slipped out from her tongue so easily that Yeon Hwa's cold posture faltered.

"I'm sure that…"

"I won't see the next full moon," her face was serene as she announced her death, "I'm sure of it."

"Was it the doctor who said it?"

"No, this is me. I can feel it," Hae Soo closed her eyes and sighed, then she turned her attention back to the girl who was concentrated on her flower arrangement, "Pyeha can only do so much, as he depends on the clans opinions to sit on the throne. He's always under a lot of stress, trying to maintain his position and still govern the country, he'll need help to look after Seol."

"You're entrusting me with your daughter."

"I don't ask you to love her or dote on her. You don't even have to be close to her," Soo explained it quickly, her gaze switching back and forth from the Queen to her daughter, "Just help him protect her. Let her know what is like to be free. Don't let the same thing that happened to me come upon her."

Yeon Hwa finally looks properly to Seol. Her quirks and traits were so similar to the girl she remembered being once - before she chose to become what she was - and to Hae Soo old self - before she was ruined and broken - that she couldn't hold her next words back.

"I won't let what happened to neither of us come upon her," she vowed and saw how the tension visibly faded from Hae Soo's expression.

Her face smiled, but Yeon Hwa knew she was crying in her heart.

"Seol-ah, my dear," Soo called her daughter, her face lighting up as she went up to the girl, "Let's go inside."

"Eh? Eomonim," the little one complained, clearly upset about putting and end to her mission of making something with the flowers, "You said I could play as long as I wanted."

"And you can. But don't you prefer to play with Abeoji than just with Eomonim?"

"Eh? Abeoji too?"

"Yes. Remember? He said he'd come to see us."

"Eomonim, hurry! We have to go!"

Seol grabbed her mother's hand and started to drag her behind as she ran back to their quarters. They were both laughing, but the Queen kept her serious gaze on the slow steps and erratic breathing of the other woman - her protective posture around the little girl, her pale face that even now refused to be clouded. And then, just before she turned around and out of view, she looked back and made a silly wave with her free hand, smiling just like the playful and defiant rascal she used to be.

That was the last time Yeon Hwa ever saw Hae Soo.

One night there was a sudden commotion in the palace.

Everyone tried to be discreet and keep a low profile, but Yeon Hwa could see that there was something big going on by the anxiety on the court ladies faces and the uncertainty in a few guards' body language.

And then, on the following morning, there was silence.

An eunuch sent the message that the morning meeting was cancelled. The doors of the Damiwon were sealed. The only people walking around the hallways were a few ministers and hurried servants, that didn't dare to run or make a ruckus on the place, afraid to disturb the lugubrious atmosphere that had set upon it.

On the next day, though, Yeon Hwa could no longer continue to do nothing, so she went to the King's chambers, only to find out it was empty. She also passed by Soo's room and Seol's room as well, just in case. But in the end, she didn't find anyone.

So she spent the morning on the porch of her chambers, pouring a cup of tea for herself as she watched the Sun burn down and descend in the horizon, followed by a cold and moonless night.

That was when her servant returned to her room, head bowed and back bent.

"Has Pyeha arrived?" Yeon Hwa asked the woman after she spent too long without saying a thing.

"Yes, Hwanghu. Do you wish to speak with him?"

"No need," she replied and dismissed the woman with a movement of the hand, "Leave him be."

Once she was alone again, she poured another cup of tea, and imagined a babbling presence beside her, telling her not to feel her heart so heavy, not to let her eyes get so wet. Not to think about bad things at all.

After all, she still had her family with her.

"Not even once," Yeon Hwa retorted the presence's words out loud, "Was I ever a sister, or a wife or a daughter. I was too busy for that. I was too focused on becoming a queen," she raised her cup of tea, that ever since the previous day didn't taste the same, "But that girl, Hae Soo, never had any of those, never achieved any of my goals. And yet, she was the one I envied the most."

"Wasn't she your friend?" The annoying imaginary presence asked her.

"Friend?" Yeon Hwa scoffed, "I'm a Queen. I don't have the time to entertain such measly thoughts."

 _But if I were an ordinary woman, with ordinary ambitions, I don't think I would have minded._

 _Being friends with Hae Soo, I mean._

 _I suppose it would have been nice._

Daemok discarded her tea - it was already bitter anyway -, then stood up and went back inside to her room, ready to face the eternal night.

The Sun wouldn't rise ever again.

* * *

 **A\N: Urgh, the ending is kind of confusing... sorry...**

 **The truth is, I was going to write a few more scenes to create a better pacing and development, but honestly, it was just me having fun with an idea - I'm not about to waste more time and effort to make Yeon Hwa look good.**

 **Yes, I wrote her nice here, but can't you see that I was also basically saying that, if it weren't for her, Eun and Soon Deok would have survived and Hae Soo would have extra time with So and Seol? (she died anyway, but still...)**

 **If you loved it, I'm glad. If you hated, no hard feelings at all - I know it's hard to appreciate this character.**


End file.
